Break Cycle

Nearly half way through my break cycle and it's going well . Love to say I excersised and lost some weight but did not do a lot LOL
Next week I'm in Denmark and after that need to see my Doc to see what he wants to do next .
Got some Perdiction done and tey said July for my BFP month , let's hope it will come true .

CD 1
AF showed today , not to upset , didn't think I had a chance afer the BFN on 13 DPO .
Now a break cycle , gonna see my Doc for more Clomid and then next cycle will be my BFP Cycle .

OK where is AF

I was convienced AF would show today but nothing yet . Now the waiting beginns .

13 DPO

And it's a .... BFN
So out this cycle , unless a miracle happens , AF should show this week .

11 DPO

Getting more and more cramps , trying to tll myself that it's not over yet . But will have to face facts that there is not a lot of hope for me at the moment , maybe Af will be here tomorrow .

11 DPO - First Test Day

POAS and it was .... a one lined test . I was sitting there waiting for the second line to show , when the dye went across I could see a second line .
Keeping my fingers crossed that it would be nice and visible and if I should tell DH or wait a bit , then the it startet to dry the pink went and only one line left . So it must have been a shadow or something but only 11 dpo , plenty of time to get my BFP this cycle .
Ok I'm starting to annoy myself with this positiv thinking , normaly I get prepared for AF and make peace with my Body for not getting pregnant , still hopeful at the moment , not like me . Nipps are tingeling and hurt when touched , cramps seem to be getting more . Tomorrow is gonna be 14 days after trigger , the time I normaly get AF , we'll see what happens .

9 DPO

Still having some cramps but they not getting worse , no sore boobs like I got the last few cycles .
PLS PLS PLS let this be the month , got enough of BD , taking Meds , U/S , Bloodtest and waitingwaitingwaiting . I just want to be a MUM .

Just found out my SIL is pregnant .
Do I need to say more ? I just thought it would be my turn next but the powers that be just really like to s***** me . IÄm wishing her all the best and a healty Pregnancy .
I just really wish it was me .

Not sure if I have a change this cycle , I think it Oed , Bd around that time , there is nothing else I could have done . If it didn't happen this month I will take a break for a Month and start taking my Temp , maybe that helps .

6 DPO

having some twinges and pulling in uterus today , not sure if that is a good sign or not . It's been 8 dptrigger , normaly 14 dptrigger AF comes that would be sunday , so maybe it's AF cramping starting . Or maybe something is getting cosy in there FXFXFXFXFXFXFXFX

If no BFP this month I will take a month off again , going on Holiday and I don't want my Due Date to be in the same Month as my M/C one was .

Remember to stay calm and relaxed , don't freak out , think calm thoughts.

3 DPO maybe ?

Bought a HPT and will take it tomorrow , only to see how much of the trigger is still in my system . Then I will get another one next week and hopefuly that will be BFN then . If I get a BFP this cycle it will be in the same month like last year when I had my M/C , that does worry me . But I so want to be a Mom

Ok , had this Blog for a while now and now I think I'm ready to start .
A little history about myself
I'm Meike (30) married to Steve (31) for 9 years this year ( YIKES , doesn't feel that long ) . Long irregular cycles , didn't O on my own , laparoscopy and dye test done in Nov. 2007 , got pregnant after that . Didn't know I was pregnant , went to see my Gyno after a 2 1/2 week long period , still could see a little Blob in uterus , must have been still very early . Looking back I'm glad I didn't know that I was pregnant .
Tried Clomid 3 or 4 times , had enough and took a break in March '08 to lose some weight , natural BFP on 05/30/08 (DH Birthday ) , M/C at 9 weeks+ . It was the hardest time in my life , waiting for a baby for so long and then losing it , nearly broke me . Had trouble since I found out I was pregnant , in and out of hospital , blood taken so many times my venes collapsed and they had to try my hands and where getting ready to move to my neck to get some . Got told it was a ectopic , then my beta didn't go up enough and finnaly at 6 + weeks they said everything is ok . Never had a heartbeat and then had some spotting , body absorbt the pregnancy . Had D&C to make sure everything came out .Trying since then with Soy and supplements , doing a Clomid cycle this cycle again .
Reading this now feels like it was a lifetime ago , never thought I would live through it but I did .

Now I'm in the TTW again , on one hand I feel like yeah this is it , I will get a BFP this cycle and on the other hand I feel like I should not get to excited in case AF comes . Trying to protect my heart , I guess